Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
