All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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