Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
