So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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