i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
