in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
