I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
