So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Randomize
