bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Are we still banned from the library?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
