We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
