he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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