that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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