He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Houston, we have a blender
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
