Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
