You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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