I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize