Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize