I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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