went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
