My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
