I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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