They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
