I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
