All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize