Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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