apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize