she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
