ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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