i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
