can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my being single is dangerous.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
