Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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