I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize