College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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