What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
