The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
