how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
