Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
