fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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