Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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