he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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