I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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