I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
