He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
