so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
