if i can run in heels then i can drive
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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