Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
