She's JV to your varsity
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
