Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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