worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
