dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
