Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
