Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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