So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My brain says no but my pants say off.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
