READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
