moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
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