I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
