I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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