We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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