these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
